 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Check Fridays and Mondays for weekly team updates and match reports
|
DOK's Prognosis: MLS Week 27 San Jose, CA, September 19, 2002 (CSA) - I was just about to download the Playoff Scenarios file at MLSnet.com (available in .pdf format - woo hoo!) when I realized, dude if I wanted to read, I'd go to school or something. So instead I watched the Carlos Ruiz Offside Highlight Video, available on DVD. When I get into MLS columnist mode for this weekly feature that I know you look so forward to during the middle of yet another mundane work week, I try to put my colors away. See, I was brought up on the mean street of San Jose. Yes, that's singular. Mean street. (Actually, it was about three miles away from the mean street of San Jose, but hey, that is one damn mean street). I realized long ago - right about the time I visited New York for the first time at an age where I could comprehend just how mean it is to set fire to a car parked alongside the road - to stopped referring to the "mean streets" of all but a select few U.S. cities. By the way, homeless man in Detroit, if you're reading this, can I have my $20 back? My point? Consider this a warning. You have been cautioned that there might be some slight exaggeration within the next few paragraphs. Because Roger Itaya - otherwise known as the guy who was checking out one of those hot L.A. chicks in the stands when he was supposed to be calling Ruiz offside - has joined the ranks of Don Denkinger, the baseball umpire known for making the previously worst call of all time. Because this offside non-call was not, my dear friends, a "controversial" non-call, as you have read in websites and newspapers all across our fine land. There was nothing controversial about it, just as there is nothing controversial about the statement "death is bad." Calling that offside a controversial non-call doesn't do justice to all controversial non-calls throughout the land, like the time John Travolta decided to pass on any one of those great roles that he passed on when he was making those terrible movies in the 80s. Quite simply, Itaya - and I apologize ahead of time because there's no other way Mr. Itaya's name would ever grace the lovely pages of this website were it not for the fact that he was guilty of the greatest oversight this country has seen since "Pulp Fiction" was bypassed for Best Picture in favor of "Forrest Gump" (I still haven't gotten over that, as you can tell) - never really had a chance in this space. I hardly think I would be commending Mr. Itaya for getting 73.7% of his offside calls correct, which by the way would put him in the upper 1% in the world. Nor would I be remarking how smartly and crisply he snaps his flag when he actually notices something worthy of his attention. But Itaya knew the deal when he signed up. Even Galaxy fans won't remember to give him a standing ovation the next time he works the sidelines of one of their games. But honestly - and this is where my integrity and years of training/brainwashing as a journalist come into play - I'm glad that call went in Los Angeles' favor and not San Jose's. I know, I know, blasphemy, say my brothers from San Jose. But look at it this way. If the Galaxy had been screwed on a play like that, they would have been faced with needing to win at Spartan Stadium by three or more goals, a feat about as likely as the existence of leftovers at Sigi Schmid's house. This way, the Earthquakes still need only to win at home to capture the Western Conference crown, the Supporters Shield, and the home-field advantage they so desperately need in order to repeat as MLS champions. Besides, if you think there's nothing worse than whining Northern California fans, you've obviously never spent a few hours at the Rose Bowl. Of course, there is more to MLS than the Los Angeles-San Jose showdown this weekend, but I'm not gonna try and go through all the playoff scenarios like who needs to win, draw, beg, borrow or deal. As a good American, I have faith in the judicial system (ahem), the electoral system (ahem), and the 73-page MLS tiebreaker system (double ahem). I know that the Don will get the best eight teams into the playoffs - or at least the eight that will showcase the most corporate sponsors - and we'll be able to ride from there. Otherwise, I'm not sure there's much to get worked up about when trying to weed out two of the league's 10 teams. In that sense, the MLS playoff race is a little like the preliminary rounds of the Miss California pageant, when they weed out all the contestants from Fresno and Bakersfield (no pun intended). I have to admit, though, that there were some captivating moments in MLS last weekend, aside from the worst call since John Bobbitt cheated on Lorena. How about Steve Ralston, a consummate professional, getting a yellow card for throwing a ball at a Burn defender (and it wasn't even Ryan Suarez)? The yellow card will keep the invaluable Ralston out of New England's crucial season finale against the MetroStars, posing the ultimate question: Is one Ralston worth a Mathis and a Howard? Yeah, that's right, Clint Mathis, our hero, has gotten himself in bit of a mess again. It turns out that stomping opposing players tends to be frowned upon by our humble league. What, did you think you were shooting an episode of "The Sopranos," Clint-o? Tim Howard's offense, taking down Roy Lassiter during a clear goal-scoring opportunity (as if there is such a thing) was much more forgivable. First, Howard was just playing soccer, reacting to the situation. Second, do you have any idea how humiliating it would be to let Lassiter score on you? Here are this week's picks, again for entertainment purposes only: Dallas at D.C. United (Sep. 19): We haven't seen a collapse in Dallas like this since former Cowboy Nate Newton figured out how many pounds of marijuana he could fit into a pickup. Twice. Pick: Dallas 1, D.C. United 0. Kansas City at Colorado (Sep. 20): You can't blame Bob Gansler for thinking: Would it have really killed Big Bruce to bring someone else - anyone else - to Korea as his No. 3 goalkeeper? Pick: Colorado 2, Kansas City 1. MetroStars at New England (Sep. 21): Good thing the ol' bandwagon had a flat tire back in Week 23 or so because I was just able to get back on. Pick: New England 3, MetroStars 1. Los Angeles at San Jose (Sep. 21): Roger Itaya came by my house the other day to take a measurement of the deck. He was off by three yards. Pick: San Jose 2, Los Angeles 0. Columbus at Chicago (Sep. 22): The Fire have announced the signing of Botswanan forward Dipsy Selolwane, who will be available for this game. I don't know what kind of impact Dipsy will have, but I think I received an e-mail from one of his sponsors asking me for my bank account number to make a deposit in the sum of $78 million. Pick: Columbus 1, Chicago 1. Last
Week: 2-4
Danny
Kadah can be reached at
dkadah@cybersoccernews.com.
|
|
Upcoming
Matches 2002 MLS CUP FINAL Sunday,
October 20 U.S. OPEN CUP FINAL Thursday,
October 24 Results SEMIFINALS Game One Saturday,
October 5 Sunday,
October 6 Game Two Wednesday,
October 9 Game Three Saturday,
October 12
Regular season final standings September 22
Playoffs
- two conference winners plus next six best records Notes:
Results QUARTERFINALS Game One Wednesday,
September 25
Game Two Saturday,
September 28 Sunday,
September 29 Game Three Wednesday,
October 2
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Home
• US Men • US
Women • MLS • Over
There • Search • About
CSN Entire contents
Copyright © 2001-2002 CyberSoccer Associates LLC • All Rights Reserved.
|